I don’t have time to elaborate, but I wanted to get these up before these games started.

NFC East

1. Eagles 12-4

2. Cowboys 11-5

3. Giants 9-7

4. Redskins 7-9

NFC North

1. Vikings 11-5

2. Packers 9-7

3. Bears 7-9

4. Lions 3-13

NFC South

1. Falcons 10-6

2. Saints 9-7

3. Panthers 7-9

4. Bucs 4-12

NFC West

1. 49ers 10-6

2. Seahawks 8-8

3. Cardinals 6-10

4. Rams 1-15

Wild Card: Cowboys over 49ers, Falcons over Packers

Divisional: Eagles over Cowboys, Vikings over Falcons

NFC Championship: Eagles over Vikings

Super Bowl: Eagles over Pats

MVP/Offensive POY: Adrian Peterson

Defensive POY: Mario Williams

Offensive Rookie: Percy Harvin

Defensive Rookie: Ray Mauluga

Coach of the Year: Mike Singletary (I can’t believe I’m writing that)

NFC East

Philadelphia Eagles (12-4) – The Eagles are a team that usually gets stronger as the season goes on, and I think they’re set up to do that even moreso this year. It will probably take some game experience for Andy Reid and offensive coordinator Marty Mornhinweg to figure out the best way to use all of their offensive weapons in the most efficient way. Aside from Vick and a breakout year from DeSean Jackson, the biggest addition to the offensive is actually LeSean McCoy. Because Brian Westbrook has tended to wear down as season’s have gone on in past years, being able to spell Westbrook early in the season with McCoy should allow Westbrook to be more healthy in December and January than he’s been in a long time. The same year-long improvement should be expected from new defensive coordinator Sean McDermott, although it would be tough for him to call a better defensive game than he did in week 1 against the Panthers. All that being said, the reason I have them as my number 1 seed in the NFC is that the schedule works perfectly in their favor. They play the easy games early (Chiefs, Raiders, Redskins at home …) and then get the difficult matchups when they’ll be more adjusted to their personnel.

New York Giants (10-6) – Definitely believe in the defense and Osi Umenyiora is a beast. I just think the offense will take a big step back, as we saw them become one-dimensional without Plaxico last year. Let alone how ridiculous it is that the highest player in the league isn’t even one of the best ten players at his position (I go Brady, Brees, Manning, Roethlisberger, McNabb, Rodgers, Rivers, Romo, Ryan, then either Warner, Cutler, or Palmer). They’ll win the games they should win and get into the playoffs.

Dallas Cowboys (8-8) – Don’t like the receiving corps or the defense outside of DeMarcus Ware, although I am intrigued by the notion that they might have a nice home field advantage the first time opponents play in the new stadium. If Jason Garrett let this team work like the Giants offense and they count on a one-two punch of Felix Jones and Marion Barber to move the offense I’d be higher on them.

Washington Redskins (6-10) – Not a terrible team, I just think they’re clearly outclassed in the division. I’ve also always liked Jason Campbell a little bit but he’s not the kind of guy who can win on his own. I don’t have anything else to add except that I find it hilarious that there’s a craze in Washington D.C. about Brian Orakpo already.

NFC North

Green Bay Packers (10-6) – Love Aaron Rodgers, love Greg Jennings, and it looks like the defensive change to the 3-4 is going smoothly. Pair that with a little overrating of the Bears and Vikings and I think the Packers pull the division out.

Minnesota Viikings (9-7) – I have the Vikings in a three-way tie for the last wildcard spot and getting in on the convoluted tie-breaker. We all know Adrian Peterson is a beast, and the run defense is beastly. I Favre will probably end up losing them one or two games, but that’s still better than what Tarvaris Jackson would have done.

Chicago Bears (9-7) – I’d compare the Bears to what Pat said about the Ravens. The defense is aging a little bit and should take a step down while the offense takes a step up. Devin Hester is turning into a legit No. 2 receiver, and Matt Forte is really, really good, so the offense is on the rise. So I think they’re caught in between right now. I’d probably also dock them a game or two now that they’ve lost Urlacher.

Detroit Lions (4-12) – They’ll probably ruin a ton of survivor picks at some point this season.

NFC South

New Orleans Saints (10-6) – I think the Saints get it done in the South and there’ll be a growing theme that Brees might be best quarterback in the league. The D is improved enough to get them through the regular season but I’m guessing they’ll falter come playoff time.

Atlanta Falcons (9-7) – I’m not sure Matt Ryan will be much better than he was last year, but the rest of the offense should so that will off-set. The D is average, good enough to get the job done for the most part. Blah.

Carolina Panthers (8-8) – What kind of odds can I get on A.J. Feeley for MVP? But seriously, has a quarterback ever had back-to-back games as bad as Delhomme had? Even with that, they still have a great running game and a good defense. They just need to be playing from ahead to be successful and I think they’ll make a lot of noise this season and fall just short of the playoffs.

Tampa Bay Bucs (5-11) – I think they’ll hang around as a frisky season for the first half of the season before giving the reigns to Josh Freeman and free fall. Most of all, I’m proud that they’re bringing back the old Jaguars philsophy of having all black quarterbacks on the roster if you have a starting black quarterback in the south because otherwise the racist fan base would call for the backup even more fervently than in other cities.

NFC West

Seattle Seahawks (9-7) – Just by a hair over the 49ers for me, although I’m still second-guessing it. Just a little more veteran talent that’s not quite over the hill yet. Hasselbeck should have a nice comeback year and I like their young defense with Curry and Tatupu.

San Francisco 49ers (8-8) – Shaun Hill is more serviceable than he gets credit for, and I think they’ll be able to take advantage of a weak division and schedule to pull out a .500 record. And yes, Patrick Willis is the best middle linebacker in the game.

Arizona Cardinals (6-10) – It’s sad how much of a foregone conclusion the Cardinals free fall is this year. But I guess when you have a quarterback older than Rasputin and a defense that’s looser than Lou Holtz’s grasp on reality, there’s not much to be debated.

St. Louis Rams (3-13) – Seriously? Three years after the draft and all five of your first three-round picks are gone? I mean that has to be one of the monumentally worse drafts of my lifetime, I’m just too lazy right now to look into it further. But yeah, Tye Hill, great pick.

Playoffs

Saints beat Vikings, Giants win in Seattle

Eagles beat Giants, Packers beat Saints

Eagles beat Packers

(mouth full of Kool-Aid)

Well, unlike Bo, I did not pick every game on the NFL schedule (I’m actually going to have to go ahead and diagnose him with some form of OCD for doing so. The 2010 baseball schedule came out this week. Have you started on that yet?). Because I didn’t really formulate any specific projections beforehand, I can’t deny that the first week did have some effect on my predictions. I think you’ll notice, however, that most of my picks make it seem like I didn’t even watch football last week, let alone allow myself to be completely swayed by it. I did not plan it that way, but I decided to stick to my guns on several teams.

AFC East

1. Patriots 12-4: I wouldn’t read too much into last Monday night. First of all, I think Buffalo is going to be better than people think. Secondly, I think Belichick may have out-thought himself a little bit in trying to hide some of the playbook last week so he can more easily embarass the Jets this week. They do have some issues on the offensive line and on defense, but as long as Brady stays on the field, they’re going to win between 11 and 14 games.

2. Bills 9-7: I’ve liked the Bills as a sleeper all offseason, and I have to admit I was pretty disappointed they didn’t put away the Pats last week. I feel like that bitter ending combined with Dick Jauron being mildly autistic could kill this season before it gets off the ground. I’m going to stick with them though. I think Trent Edwards is better than people think, and he has plenty of weapons to work with. The defense should be pretty good as well, so I’d expect this team to, at the very least, be competitive all year. I actually have them sneaking in the playoffs.

3. Jets 7-9: I was impressed with the Jets on Sunday, but I’m not quite buying into the hype just yet. The Texans lost to the Ravens 41-13 last year in Houston. I think that’s a pretty good indication that, for whatever reason, they have trouble blocking that style of defense. I’ll need to see the Jets play well against the Pats this coming Sunday before I buy into them as a playoff team. Mark Sanchez is not going to be Matt Ryan as a rookie. He’s going to show plenty of flashes, but I can’t imagine the consistency being there this early in his career. I could buy him as a 2008 Flacco which I guess is what Rex Ryan is shooting for, but the problem with that is the Jets D will not be what the Ravens’ was a year ago.

4. Dolphins 5-11: I could see them getting to 8 wins, but I can’t imagine them being a major factor this season. Decent team in a tough division that now has to play a first place schedule instead of a last place schedule. My guess is Chad Henne is starting by Week 5.

AFC North

1. Bengals 10-6: I know what you’re asking and the answer is no, I did not get a labotomy in the last 45 seconds. Everyone knows there’s going to be a couple of teams coming out of nowhere this year. I’d settled on this division a long time ago as the place for one of those Cinderella stories. I’d been going back and forth between the Ohio teams all offseason, but the moment I found out Brady Quinn would be starting in Cleveland, my mind was made up. The heartbreaker against Denver, though the stupidity of the defenisve alignment on the Stokely play nearly made me vomit out of sheer disbelief, was not enough to change my mind on this team. The defense is pretty good, and if Carson Palmer stays on the field, the offense should be fine as well. I really think this division is there for the taking, so fuck it, let’s go Bengals.

2. Ravens 9-7: I really like what the Ravens are building offensively, Flacco and Rice particularly, and I think they are close to entering a new era where their offense is actually the unit carrying the team. The problem is they’re in between this year. Their defense will take a step back, and although they will still be pretty good, I don’t see them anywhere near dominant. And while the offense will show glimpses of brilliance, I don’ t think this group is ready to become a consistent top 10 unit.

3. Steelers 8-8: The big secret about the Steelers is that they really weren’t that good last year. They were decent and everything broke right for them . I really think they would’ve lost to Tennessee or Philly if they had to play either team. In other meaningless what if scenario news, I think Yokozuna would still be alive today if he hadn’t fell off the ropes at Wrestlemania 10. The big guy never got over that. Trust me. Anyway, I think this year we go back to the good old days when the Super Bowl champion missed the playoffs the next season. I hate their O-Line, their running backs are mediocre, and they’ve already lost their best player for half the season.

Browns 5-11: If they start Derek Anderson, I think they could be a solid team. That’s how dumb I think starting Brady Quinn is. If he played at like Michigan State or Tennessee, would he even be considered for a starting job this year? Seriously, am I crazy or does the Notre Dame bias actually contaminate coaching decisions in the NFL?

AFC South

Titans 11-5: They were the best team in football last season, and I actually think the fact that they lost early may help them this season. I love their defense. I love their running backs. I love Kenny Britt. Their other skill guys are solid, their O-Line is good. I know people question whether Collins can get it done again, but I think he’ll be fine, and I actually think Vince Young is ready for another shot if he can’t.

Texans 10-6: Another team I’m sticking with after a bad week 1. Like I said, I think they just caught a bad matchup against that Ravens/Rex Ryan defense. This offense will be very good. And they have the pieces to be above average on defense. I’ve flip flopped a few times on this team, but ultimately decided that I do buy into the hype even after the Jets game.

Colts 8-8: I think this is finally the year the Colts slip up. They have no depth at receiver. Their offensive line has taken some hits. Their defense is still nothing special. And I think Jim Caldwell might prove to be a moron. He was a bad college coach, I can tell you that much. It’s never smart to pick against Peyton Manning, but I’m going to do it anyway.

Jaguars 6-10: I actually think they’re a pretty good team. I just like the other three teams in this division better. I think if they get a few guys swinging axes around in the locker room, they could make a playoff run.

AFC West

1. Chargers 10-6: I agree with most of what Bo said about this team. I’m sick of hearing that they’re the most talented team in the league. It’s just patently false. LT is a mediocre back at this point, the O-Line is already beat up, and their supposedly vaunted defense was atrocious last year and has several players (Merriman, Phillips, Cromartie) living mainly off reputation at this point. All that said, they’re the best team in this joke of a division, and I’d be shocked if they didn’t sleepwalk into the playoffs. I do have to disagree with Bo on one thing. Phillip Rivers is very good. If this team traded quarterbacks with anyone else in the division, it would change my pick.

2. Chiefs 8-8: They don’t have the worst roster in the league. In fact, they don’t even have the worst roster in the state of Missouri. They also get the biggest coaching bump in the league this year. They may still have a beatup racecar, but at least the driver isn’t Helen Keller anymore. Let’s remember that with Herm Edwards fresh in Jets fans’ memory, Eric Mangini was hailed as a genius. I think Chiefs fans are in for a similar sensation during this first season under Todd Haley, though I think he may have similar nutjob tendencies as Mangini that get old rather quickly. Anyway, they were tied with Bo’s AFC Champion with 2 minutes left in the 4th quarter and Brodie Croyle playing quarterback. I think this team will be a solid thorn in the side type all year long, and stay in the playoff mix into December.

3. Raiders 7-9: I actually like their defense and I like the speed they now have on offense. The problem is Jamarcus Russell is wildly inconsistent. I can’t imagine them being able to get over .500 with him under center. At least not yet.

4. Broncos 4-12: Completely disagree with Bo on this team. I think they’re in for a very long season. Kyle Orton sucks, I think McDaniels brought in too many old players to supplement what he inherited, and also Kyle Orton sucks.

Wild Card: Bills over Chargers, Texans over Bengals

Divisional: Pats over Bills, Texans over Titans

AFC Championship: Pats over Texans

So last Wednesday night on the eve of the NFL season opener I went through and picked every game on the NFL schedule just to whet my whistle. Of course, the other point of doing it was to prepare myself for the all-important Parents’ Basement NFL preview, but then I figured it would only be fitting if our preview was posted until after week 1 just because that’s how we like to do things around here. Anyway, I haven’t changed any of my projected records following the results of week 1, although I will say that I only missed three of the 16 games. I had the Bucs beating the Cowboys at home, the Raiders upsetting the Chargers at home, and the Eagles losing to the Panthers on the road.

AFC East

Patriots (10-6) – Well, Tom Brady was lucky to pull one out of his ass last night and the Patriots definitely have some serious problems on defense. But they’re still the cream of this division’s crop and I don’t think they should have too much trouble winning the division. As a Jaguars apologist, I like the addition of Fred Taylor to the backfield even if he didn’t look so great last night. Taylor is a truly patient runner, which is something they haven’t had in the past in New England. The only other random thing I’ll throw in there is that I’ve always really liked Leigh Bodden for some reason. That’s the kind of great analysis I know you’re looking for.

Jets (9-7) – Even before this week I had a good feeling about this Jets team, although I have them falling one game short of the playoffs. I’m not ashamed to admit that I have a full-on man crush on Mark Sanchez and like I said before the draft, I think he turns out to be a superior player to Matt Stafford. I watched him in person against the Eagles in the preseason and he only played one series, a long touchdown drive, but he was already progressing through his reads with ease and I think he’s in a good position to succeed. Rex Ryan already has a lot of talent on the Jets’ defense to work with and I think this is a team that’s going to make some serious noise. They’ll also be helped by a pretty easy-looking schedule.

Bills (6-10) – They’ve got some nice pieces but ultimately I’m just not a believer. I like Lee Evans a lot, think Fred Jackson is extremely underrated, and I like their defensive backfield. I don’t like a crappy, young, offensive line, an aging defensive line, and I don’t have enough faith in Trent Edwards to make enough plays on his own to lead them to a successful season. And I’m happy because I’ll never have to hear about how T.O. always does well in his first year with a team ever again.

Dolphins (6-10) – Last year’s single biggest fraud of a team, the Dolphins will come crashing back down to earth this season. Chad Pennington sucks. I don’t believe Ronnie Brown can be as productive as he was last year. And the two biggest factors in their playoff run last year, the easy schedule and the success of the wildcat, aren’t going to be in play this year. The run-only wildcat option is not going to be successful anywhere this year, and I know they have Pat White to run packages with but color me skeptical. Here’s what I will say for the Dolphins though. I love Chad Henne, thought he was the best QB coming out that year, and I think when he gets the reins full time next year the Dolphins might make some noise again.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens (10-6) – One of my longer-shot Super Bowl possibilities, I think the offense will definitely improve with Flacco another year into the league and the offense, and a little more Ray Rice. The defense should decline a little, but they have a manageable schedule.

Pittsburgh Steelers (10-6) – I think the Super Bowl champs have a lot of issues still along the offensive line, but that didn’t stop them from going all the way last year. To me, Roethlisberger is probably the fourth best quarterback in the league right now and I like Santonio. The running back situation is obviously questionable, but it’s still a top-five defense.

Cincinnati Bengals (7-9) – I don’t believe in Carson Palmer or their defense. Or Cedric Benson.

Cleveland Browns (5-11) – At least Josh Cribbs is kind of fun to watch.

AFC South

Indianapolis Colts (11-5) – I think the Colts are absolutely destined for a decline. Manning doesn’t have the supporting staff he once had on offense, be it the line or the receivers. The defense has never been good against the run and if Jim Caldwell got fired from Wake, how can he make a good NFL coach? But, they actually have a really easy schedule, Manning is still Manning, and they’re still a well-built regular season team. I would have them finishing behind the Titans in the division if I thought Kerry Collins could stay healthy for a whole year.

Tennessee Titans (10-6) – Yeah Albert Haynesworth was a monster, but, having followed this division closely the past however many years, the rest of the Titans defensive line is really underrated. They won’t miss a beat, and the defense will still be really good. I’d love the Titans to win 12-13 games if, like I said before, I thought Kerry Collins would stay healthy for a whole season but I’m expecting him to miss a couple games.

Jacksonville Jaguars (9-7) – Very wishful thinking and realistically I’m probably expecting somewhere around seven wins. But I went through the schedule and every game is winnable. I’m a believer in David Garrard, although he didn’t have a good game against the Colts. I expect the Jags to start out slow having such a young nucleus but I really believe they’re going to finish the season as a real surprise team. This projection is more of a stamp of approval for the direction the roster has taken than anything else. New GM Gene Smith is building through the draft, getting the big guys early, and I’m excited about the future.

Houston Texans (7-9) – They’ll be the same thing they are every year, inconsistent with flashes of brilliance.

AFC West

San Diego Chargers (11-5)

I really don’t like the Chargers as a whole. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I’m still not that high on Phillip Rivers. LT really did not look good last night. And I think the defense is overrated. They’ve been such a lock to win this division according to everyone that I’m weary of it, but I just couldn’t picture a scenario with another team winning more games, barring injury to Rivers.

Denver Broncos (9-7) – My other big sleeper, which I called before the miracle win in Cincinnati. I just have a good feeling about them, although I have them missing the playoffs by a game too. Anyway, I think this season will be a pleasant surprise for Josh McDaniels, Alphonso Smith, and Will Schwartz.

Oakland Raiders (7-9) – I’m not spending more than a sentence on a team that traded a first-round pick for an aging DE, but I do think the Raiders will be a feisty team all year.

Kansas City Chiefs (4-12) – I think the Chiefs actually have the worst roster in the NFL. I think there might be two players on the Chiefs I’d want on my team, Branden Albert and Dwayne Bowe. Maybe Tamba Hali? That’s it.

Playoffs

Titans win at Patriots
Ravens beat Steelers

Titans win at Colts
Ravens win at Chargers

Ravens beat Titans

So I stumbled upon this article from the Washington Post’s website, and it actually infuriated me more than anything Rick Reilly has ever written. The author is responding to Joe Banner’s statement that the Eagles have the best roster in football. Now, if I were just reading it on behalf of myself as an Eagles fan, then I probably would’ve left it alone, but because the birds are now also Bo’s employer, I feel I have no choice but to step in and make this guy pay. What can I say? I’m loyal.

http://views.washingtonpost.com/theleague/panelists/2009/07/joe-banner-philadelphia-eagles-kun.html

Banner Is a 10-Year-Old

by Michael Kun

Oh shit. He’s got the Benjamin Button disease? This is going to be a groundbreaking piece of reporting.

On Saturday evening, we had a cookout at our home. It was a fairly lively event and, as you might expect, for a good part of the evening the men and their sons were gathered around the barbeque talking sports.

It was loud and fun.

I already hate this guy just for making “it was loud and fun” a stand-alone paragraph.

Until the subject turned to the NFL and the 10-year-old son of one of our friends suddenly announced that the Eagles had the best team in football.

Well it’s definitely debatable, but in my humble opinion, that 10 year old is right. I, along with my 10 year old friend, would certainly welcome a counter-argument though. Perhaps, you will now break down the rosters of teams like the Pats and Steelers to prove why they are actually better than the Eagles? Is that the point of this article? (SPOILER ALERT: nope, trick question. there is, in fact, no point to this article)

Then you could hear the proverbial crickets chirping as a bunch of grown men tried to figure out how to explain to a 10-year-old that, well, he was just plain wrong.

…before finally just giving up, and deciding instead to beat the kid within an inch of his life.

Not only are the Eagles not the best team in football, but, in our lifetimes, they have never been the best team in football.

First of all, that’s not necessarily true. There have been times over the past 10 years where the Eagles were probably the best team before injuries struck the point moot. I get your point though. They never won a Super Bowl. Fair enough, but what the fuck does this have to do with this year?

Never.

Douche

Ever.

Bag

The first thing to look at to determine whether they are the best team in football would be whether they won the championship last year, we explained to our friend’s son. Did the Eagles win the Super Bowl last year? No.

The ’04 Pats are the only team to repeat in the last decade. Rosters in the NFL are by far the most liquid of all sports. Who won last year very rarely matters, and this particular Steelers team was certainly no juggernaut. In fact, the Eagles manhandled them when they did meet, so if I was the 10 year old boy, my reply to this point would be “fuck you, old man.”

Recognizing that sometimes fluky things happen and the best teams don’t win (feel free to insert your own examples here), the second step in determining whether they are the best team in football would be whether they had the best record in the NFL, we explained. Did the Eagles have the best record in the league last year? No. They were 9-6-1. The Giants won 3 more games than they did. That’s not a lot in baseball. But in football, winning 3 more games than your rival is pretty darned big.

Um, and then they beat the Giants in Giants stadium twice in the last month of the season, including a playoff game, and by all reasonable measures, had a better offseason (at least on paper), so who cares about what happened in the first 3 months of last season?

Did something fluky happen to deprive them of a championship that they otherwise would have or should have won last year? No. Instead, a bunch of fluky things happened that help them get further than they otherwise should have. Like, oh, a tie game. And, say, a star receiver for the division rival Giants shooting himself in the thigh (thereby setting both NFL season and career records for most times a star receiver has shot himself in the thigh). And a star receiver for the division rival Cowboys shooting his mouth off and destroying a team that, on paper, was better than the Eagles.

Oh man oh man oh man. That paragraph pissed me off so much that I had to get up from my computer, punch a hole in the wall, then return to tear this apart piece by piece.

Did something fluky happen to deprive them of a championship that they otherwise would have or should have won last year? No.

Well, that Cardinal game could’ve gone either way, and if you remember, it did end on a 4^th down incompletion to Kevin Curtis that could’ve easily been called interference, which would’ve kept alive a potential game tying drive in a game that could’ve send them to the Super Bowl. Whatever though, that’s football, I don’t mind conceding this point.

Instead, a bunch of fluky things happened that help them get further than they otherwise should have.

If you’re referring to Week 17 where several seemingly unlikely events had to occur to leave the Eagles with even a shot at the playoffs, including the 3-12 Raiders beating the Bucs, and all of them happening, then yes, I will definitely grant you this point as well.

Like, oh, a tie game.

Wait what? A tie game? Against the fucking Bengals? That was a great break that made their season? You can’t be serious. I really don’t believe this guy even watched that game. I think he just saw they were 9-6-1 and said to himself, “A tie! Football teams don’t tie! Now I’ve got you, Banner!”

And, say, a star receiver for the division rival Giants shooting himself in the thigh (thereby setting both NFL season and career records for most times a star receiver has shot himself in the thigh).

Plaxico getting hurt certainly helped the Eagles last year, so yes, if you want to call that “fluky” then technically you’re right, but he’s not going to be playing next year either so how the fuck does this enhance your point in any way? It’s not like the Eagles snuck by the Giants with a bad call or a weird bounce that can’t be duplicated this year. Their best offensive player shot himself and is probably never going to play for the team again, losing him very obviously shifted the balance of power between the two teams, and this is somehow a check in the Giants’ column for 2009?

And a star receiver for the division rival Cowboys shooting his mouth off and destroying a team that, on paper, was better than the Eagles.

Of all the stupid, annoying bullshit in this article, this statement may be the stupidest and most annoying. The Eagles beat the Cowboys 44-6 in week 17 with the playoffs on the line for both teams. And you actually, amazingly, are arguing that the reason for this was that TO destroyed the team? This is so utterly retarded that I just shoved a fork in my eye. And even if you do want to convince yourself of this moronic assertion, how is anything TO does to destroy a team a fluke? Why not just say, “The Cowboys would’ve been 16-0 last year if it weren’t for the crazy fluke of Wade Phillips being a clueless hack and the weird anomaly of Tony Romo choking in big spots! Talk about your bad breaks!”

And on top of everything else, the Cowboys have clearly taken a step back this past offseason, and certainly don’t have a 2009 roster that matches the Eagles’, so how the fuck does anything in this entire paragraph help make your point? The only thing I can gather is that you’re saying the perfect storm of a tie game against a shitty team, Plaxico Burress shooting his dick off, and TO acting like a douche cannot possibly be duplicated, and therefore, the Eagles don’t have the best roster. Is that your thesis?

Recognizing that last year was, well, last year, the third thing to look at in determining whether the Eagles are the best team in the league would be whether the Eagles made significant offseason moves that would leapfrog them over the other, better teams. Did the Eagles do that during this past off-season? No. First round pick Jeremy Maclin is a nice receiver. But not that nice. He alone isn’t going to catapult the Eagles over the top. (And, besides, last I saw he hadn’t even signed a contract yet.) On the other side of the ball, they lost Brian Dawkins. Say what you want about Dawkins, but until the Eagles prove otherwise on the field, they just won’t be the same without him.

This is just pure ignorance. The Eagles’ biggest problem last year was short yardage offense. Of the 19 games they played, they only lost one by more than 7 points, meaning just about every week, they had the ball in the 4^th quarter with a chance to tie the game or take the lead, and the inability to convert key 3^rd and 4^th and shorts killed them time and time again. And thus, in the offseason, they added Jason Peters, one of the most physically gifted tackles in football, and Stacy Andrews, a mammoth road grating guard. Plus, Shawn Andrews, one of the most dominant guards in football before missing all of last season, will hopefully be healthy enough to return and take over at RT. Throw in the additions of Leonard Weaver, their first true full back in years, and Lesean McCoy, an excellent college running back, and it becomes clear that you have conveniently glossed over the fact that they have completely overhauled their biggest weakness. I believe you actually just attempted to argue that Jeremy Maclin was the only notable addition. The point of this article is to refute Joe Banner’s statement that the Eagles are the best team in football, your overly aggressive title calls him a 10 year old, and yet you clearly know nothing about the composition of their roster.

So, we asked the 10-year old boy as politely as we could, how could you say that the Eagles are the best team in football?

Because they are

His answer: “Because they’re my favorite team.”

Great. I’m glad you bullied a 10 year old kid into admitting he can’t win a football debate against the 10 drunk 50 year olds hovering over him. Pat yourself on the back, you’re a real hero.

In an odd way, you have to respect that answer.

And, in just as odd a way, his answer is no different than Joe Banner saying that the Eagles have the best roster in the NFL, because Joe Banner’s business card says, “President, Philadelphia Eagles” on it. And not only is it Joe Banner’s job to promote the Philadelphia Eagles, but, presumably, they are his favorite team.

Yes, “presumably”, Joe Banner’s favorite football team is the one whose successes and failures determine his livelihood. Excellent deduction. You’ve really nailed him here. Edward R. Murrow would be proud.

And if Joe Banner, President of the Philadelphia Eagles, doesn’t believe the Eagles have the best roster in the league, he is nevertheless obligated to say so. Perhaps not morally or legally, but something close. Because while there probably would be few consequences if the President of the Houston Texans admitted that the Texans did not have the best roster in the league, the President of the Philadelphia Eagles could not admit that even if he wanted to.

What the fuck are you talking about, dude? He could just not say anything. Did any other team president say their team had the best roster this year? Does Banner make this proclamation every single year? I could be wrong, but I’m fairly certain the answer is no to both questions.

Because, you see, his team plays in Philadelphia, and if you have ever been to Philadelphia, you would. understand precisely why he cannot stick his neck out like that.

AGAIN, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?? He can’t stick his neck out? Sticking his neck out is EXACTLY what he did do, you buffoon. And trust me, Philadelphia, or any other sports town in America, would get a lot more pissed if a GM or team president claimed a team had the best roster and then sucked, then if they said nothing at all. I could swear I’m being punk’d right now. Where’s Ashton?

So, do the Eagles have the best roster in the NFL?

Of course not. There are, off the top of the head, eight other teams that have better rosters, and they start with the Patriots and Steelers. Toss in the Giants, Colts, Vikings (regardless of what Brett Favre decides to do), Ravens and the Panthers. And the Titans, too. And we haven’t even mentioned the Cardinals, Cowboys or Bears.

Wow. He finally decides to name a bunch of teams that are better and gives no explanation at all as to why they’re better. This guy really is just a complete joke. Find me one front office person in the NFL who honestly believes the Eagles are worse than all of these teams you’ve listed. Find me one legit publication who ranks them that low. You spent your whole goddamn article talking about last season, and you include 3 teams who the Eagles eliminated last year as being better, and 3 teams that didn’t make the playoffs. Do you know anything about the composition of any of these teams’ rosters, like who they signed, who they lost, who they drafted? Or are you just throwing out random teams that were pretty good last year? I honestly don’t know the answer to this.

Does Joe Banner know that?

Of course he does.

Give Joe Banner some fucking truth serum and see if he says the Eagles have the 12^th best roster in the NFL going into the season. I mean, shit, I don’t mind people being arrogant and condescending when arguing a point (or else I’d be a hypocrite), but when you’re condescending with no evidence and very little knowledge of the particular subject, then you just come off like a goddamn moron. You just seem like someone who hates the Eagles, which is ironic because I thought your whole point was that Banner and the 10 year old can’t be objective because of how much they love the Eagles. To be fair though, I guess I really have no fucking clue what your point is.

Can he say that?

Of course not.

Because the Eagles are his favorite team.

Here we go again. This argument would work a lot better if you had any evidence for why he’s incorrect other than pointless, mostly wrong assertions about last season.

That said, if you ever check out Joe Banner’s bio in the Eagles media guide, he says that Dan Fogelberg is one of his favorite singers.

Why on earth would he admit that?

Seriously.

Why?

Nice, dude. You really burned him. I really believe the Eagles will be very good this year, and if they are, I hope this 10 year old kid you decided to mock prints off about a hundred copies of this article and hands them out at your next shitty barbecue so you can be the one who 20 people surround and laugh at.

Well it’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything, and I was ready to post something last week until the Francouer trade went through and I went into a deep depression that I’m only now coming out of. While the public treatment of Minaya as a GM infuriates Pat, it’s slightly different for me as a Mets fan. The guy has taken my favorite team, with all the resources in the world (the second highest payroll for most of his tenure) and made them exceedingly mediocre. Pat went through a lot of Omar’s shortcomings as a GM, and I agree with pretty much everything he said, but wanted to add a few things on. He’s shown no shrewdness or ability to think outside the box at all – like Pat said his only positive contributions to the roster have been no-brainer FA signings or trades in which he was the only one with the ability to pay the price – and has shown no understanding of how to build a roster longterm. And Pat was exactly right about the team having no depth, a huge fault of Minaya’s, and how crazy it was to depend on getting the same amount of playing time from the four legit bats on the team. But for some reason, he’s been given a pass on the overall weakness of the roster, and that’s what I want to focus on. Several times, he’s traded away Mets assets that would have been valuable if only he had been patient, instead of jetting them off for 60 cents on the dollar. So I ‘ll highlight his failings on the bullpen.

The Bullpen has been a constant struggle for the Mets since Minaya took over. Last year, most of the blame for the Mets struggles was placed at the feet of a failing bullpen and the loss of Billy Wagner. So he overreacted this winter by signing K-Rod and trading for J.J. Putz, not terrible deals in and of themselves, but money and assets that could have been better used elesewhere, especially if the bullpen was in better shape … which it should have been.

Exhibit A – Heath Bell and Royce Ring for Jon Adkins and Ben Johnson  – Long before Heath Bell became an All-Star closer, I was crying at his mistreatment by the Mets.  It was the same thing over and over. He would be called up, asked to do a job in the middle innings and follow through admirably with good stuff, then be sent down because he was the one with options. It was pretty clear to most observant fans that he had a future in a Major League bullpen, but that offseason he, along with serviceable LOOGY Royce Ring, were traded to the Padres for Ben Johnson and Jon Adkins, both of whom were never heard from again.

Exhibit B – Matt Lindstrom and Henry Owens for Jason Vargas and Adam Bostick – This trade went down only five days after the Bell trade, and I’m not quite sure why Minaya was in such a hurry to trade young power arms for a fringy lefty starter. Here’s the thing, high payroll teams like the Mets should be building their pitching staffs like the Red Sox with young homegrown power arms filling out the bullpen. That way, the extra dollars the team has to spend can be spent on filling out the back end of the rotation. These two trades show a disregard for that, Minaya sent away four promising young relievers, one of whom had already had major league success in his limited opportunities, and two of whom were both hitting the high 90’s in the minors (Lindstrom and Owens), for pitchers with #5 upside at best and a token 4th/5th outfielder. If Bell and Lindstrom had stayed in the Mets system, there’s no guarantee that the bullpen would be “fixed” but the situation would have been less dire and some of the money or assets spend on getting K-Rod and Putz could have been put to signing another impact bat. But I shouldn’t pretend like Minaya ignored the bullpen that offseason, a month later he traded away Brian Bannister for Ambiorix Burgos, nicely played.

I want to start with this passage from Jon Heyman’s July 15th SI article:

While occasional rumblings have been heard about Minaya’s job security, word is that Minaya’s Mets bosses aren’t about to pin this season on him. Mets COO Jeff Wilpon and Minaya have a strong working relationship. But here’s another reason Minaya isn’t going anywhere: The three-year extension that is believed to pay him about $1.5 million per year begins in 2010. Mets people aren’t anxious to eat nearly $5 million. Plus, they just as badly don’t want to start over by replacing the entire staff of experienced and accomplished baseball people, most of which Minaya hired.

Now I’ve been meaning to get up a post about the pathetic mess that is the New York Mets for weeks and just haven’t found the time, but between reading the above passage and previously hearing of the latest act of complete stupidity by their moronic GM, I couldn’t put this off any longer. And I hope no one thinks I’m hitting below the belt by using word ”moronic”, obviously it’s often a reactionary and hyperbolic adjective full of nothing but anger. Here, though, I really mean it. I’ve thought about it a lot and I really do think Omar Minaya is a complete moron.

Let me start with this most recent travesty. Trading for Jeff Francouer is a complete slap in the face to every Mets fan, even every baseball fan for that matter. He might as well just start peeing in the beer at Citi Field. Of the 147 players with enough at bats to qualify last season, Jeff Francouer ranked 142 in OPS, the next closest corner outfielder on that list was nearly 70 points ahead of him, and even more impressively, he was 146th in OBP, only Michael Bourne reached base at a lower rate than Jeff Francouer. Read that last sentence again, because that is some mind boggling stuff. And his numbers through the first half of ‘09 are almost exactly the same. Considering the position he plays, you can make a case that he’s been the worst everyday player in all of baseball for the last season and a half. I don’t think I can even talk about this trade anymore I’m so disgusted, and I don’t even like the goddamn Mets.

I guess this really shouldn’t surpise us much though. The man has always been a terrible GM. I could cite his entire career as evidence for his ineptitude, which includes the worst trade of the last decade (Brandon Phillips, Grady Sizemore, and Cliff Lee for Bartolo Colon), and a passage in Moneyball that portrays him as the village idiot who Billy Beane can manipulate in whatever ways he sees fit to get the players he wants. I will ignore all of this though, because I know that with contraction lurking, those Montreal days would’ve been tough for anyone. And plus, this article would have to be 20,000 words to cover all the dumb shit he’s done over his entire career.

I know some would argue that Minaya does have his strengths. If you want to give him credit for convincing the Wilpons to spend money and then convincing some very, very good players to take that money, go right ahead, but let’s remember a few things. He took over a team with two budding stars on the left side of the infield and lots of money to spend. He gave Pedro Martinez 4 years and $53 million for one good season (2005). He was also the high bidder on Beltran, who reportedly begged the Yankees to take him at a discount before agreeing to sign. Carlos Delgado was essentially a salary dump. He lucked out that the Yanks and Sox pulled out of the Santana sweepstakes, and then he gave him a shitload of money to agree to the trade. None of these were hard baseball decisions. He convinced an old white guy to write a lot of checks. Congrats, so did Anna Nicole Smith.

But whatever, I’m willing to call him a good fundraiser and even a good recruiter, particularly of Latin talent, but he’s horrible at every other part of his job. The least efficient way to build a baseball team is by relying solely on the ability to be the high bidder for players who are entering the big money phase of their career. You have to find ways to acquire and develop young talent to build a good organization, and the Mets have been completely inept at doing so since Minaya took over after the ‘04 season. Seriously, think of how little they have produced. This is his 5th year, so you can no longer place most of the blame on the previous regime.

I’ll give him a lot of credit for getting John Maine in the Kris Benson/Jorge Julio deal. I give him some credit for getting Oliver Perez in the Xavier Nady/Roberto Hernandez deal, although that one wasn’t exactly a steal. And I give him a very small amount of credit for getting Mike Pelfrey in the 2005 draft considering it was probably the most loaded draft of all time (the next three picks were Cameron Maybin, Jay Bruce, and Andrew McCutcheon; with Volstad, Garza, Rasmus, Ellsbury and Bucholz going later in the first round) and also that they payed overslot to get him. That’s pretty much it in terms of above average young players. I mean guys like Daniel Murphy and Omir Santos are the epitome of mediocre, and we don’t know what Fernando Martinez will be. The last time Minaya had a much hyped 5 tool outfield prospect, he turned him into a mediocre catcher and the guy he’d later trade for one of the shittiest players in baseball, so forgive me if I’m a bit skeptical that F-Mart will ever be representing the Mets in an All Star game. The fact is aside from signing the big guys and making the moves I listed above, Omar has made very few wise acquisitions. He tends to either go for guys he had in Montreal (Tatis, Church, Schneider, L. Hernandez, El Duque, Armas, etc.) or past their prime all stars (Castillo, Sheffield, Alou, Lodoca, Conine, etc.) mainly, in my opinion, because he knows them. They rarely work out that well, and usually aren’t worth the money or players it took to acquire them. He keeps going to the well though because they have no youth with which to fill the holes.

This inability to produce talent from within is why the team completely crumbles with a few injuries, and also why there is no way in hell Minaya shouldn’t be held accountable for this season. They have been paper thin for years. In 2007, it was starting pitching that fell apart, well after the season, Omar went out and got Santana so what else could he do? In 2008, it was the bullpen, well Omar got K-Rod, how can you beat that? This year, it’s the lineup, and Omar will probably think signing Jason Bay or Matt Holliday will cure all. It’s the same goddamn thing over and over again, but the problem is not the top 10 guys in the organization, it’s the next 30. Any idiot can go out and give a $80 million to an all star. The bottom line is that the Mets have the second highest payroll in all of baseball and are starting guys like Argenis Reyes, Alex Cora, and Jeremy Reed. Injuries are not a good enough excuse. I don’t feel sorry for poor unlucky Omar.

In fact, while we’re talking about luck and sympathy, let’s talk about 2008. Last year, the Mets didn’t have a single injury among their 4 big ticket superstars (Delgado played 159 games, Reyes 159, Wright 160,  Beltran 161). The four combined for 116 HR and 419 RBI. In terms of OPS, they had the best CF in the NL, the 2nd best 3B, the 3rd best SS, and for the second half of the season, Delgado was the best hitter in the league not named Pujols or Manny. They also had arguably the best starting pitcher in baseball start over 1/5 of their games and throw over 230 innings to a 2.53 ERA. Pelfrey and Perez also pitched every 5th day, while Maine was able to make 25 starts despite some injury issues down the stretch. As we’ve seen this year, this is an organization with no depth anywhere, so to have that few injury problems to your key everday players and starting rotation requires a lot of luck.

So I ask you: how can the loss of a fucking relief pitcher invalidate everything I just listed above? There is no way to rationalize that without coming to the conclusion that the GM did a horrible job. I know nothing about Nascar, but I think this would be like spending millions of dollars on the best driver, the best car, the best parts, etc., and having them run great, but never winning a race because you decided to pay a group of 85 year old women minimum wage to be the pit crew. 

As I’ve said, he inherited Wright and Reyes, he was given the resources to sign Beltran when no other big spending teams were overly interested, and though Santana and Delgado were acquired via trade, money was the key factor in both of those acquisitions as well.  It didn’t take skill to build that core, it took deep pockets. He has proven completely incapable of supplementing that core, so how can this man possibly keep his job? He’s made the playoffs one time with a payroll that has hovered between 2nd and 4th in all of baseball. I rooted for the late 90’s Mariners because Junior Griffey was and still is my favorite athlete ever. They had 2 of the best players of all time, one of the best LHP’s of all time, and perhaps the greatest designated hitter of all time, and yet only won one playoff series because of an idiotic GM who couldn’t build a winner around these stars. So take it from me, you can’t keep a guy around just because the team is competitive when it has this much talent at the top. The window isn’t going to stay open that much longer, and if they don’t get rid of Minaya soon, it’ll be too late.

16.BJ Mullens

17. Terrance Williams

18. Ty Lawson

19. Dejuan Blair

20. Tyler Hansbrough

21. Hasheem Thabeet

22. Toney Douglas

23. James Harden

24. Jerel McNeal

25. Wayne Ellington

26. Austin Daye

27. Patty Mills

28. Eric Maynor

29. John Brockman

30. Jack McClinton

I’ve already talked about Rubio vs. Griffin ad nauseum and I posted my thoughts on a few other players a couple weeks ago, so in the interest of keeping this post from being absurdly long, I will only comment on the prospects I have not previously mentioned.

1. Ricky Rubio

2. Blake Griffin

3. Brandon Jennings- I actually initially had him ahead of Griffin, but ultimately decided I couldn’t quite rationalize it. I honestly think he has the highest ceiling of anybody in this draft though. He could be a superstar. He’s a freaky athlete in the same way as a Derrick Rose or Rajon Rondo, and while I disagree with his assertions that he’s a better prospect than Rubio, it is an undeniable fact that he’s got more physical tools. This gives him a margin for error that Rubio doesn’t have. At the same time though, Rubio is a terrific passer with terrific court vision and a great feel for the game, while Jennings is prone to hogging the ball and making careless, lazy decisions when he does choose to pass it. If you put Rubio’s head on Jennings’ body, you have a potential Hall of Famer (and the 2nd weirdest looking guy in NBA history, narrowly losing out to Charlie Villanueva). Most of Jennings weaknesses are at least somewhat correctable though, and if he manages to do just that, he could be right in the same breath as guys like Rose, Rondo, and Harris. And even if he doesn’t conform his game properly to being a playmaking point guard, he could still be a quality Monta Ellis type combo guard.

4. Tyreke Evans- Can play 3 positions. Can guard 3 positions. If he can develop a more consistent jumpshot, he’ll be a very good player. I think he’s more of a sure bet than Jennings, but his ceiling isn’t quite as high.

5. Jordan Hill- Best center prospect in the draft (and he’s very much a center in today’s NBA). He’s a bit raw and he’s never going to be in that Jefferson/Howard/Stoudemire class, but he should be solid as a poor man’s version.

6. Jonny Flynn- If he were 6′2, he would be right there with Jennings and Rubio. He’s a speedy, high energy guy, and because he’s closer to a finish product, I actually think he could be on the shortlist for rookie of the year (provided he ends up in a good situation of course)

7. Earl Clark

8. James Johnson- Could be one of the bigger steals of the draft if he falls into the 20’s like some project. He’s already got an NBA body. He’s athletic and tough. He can score inside or out. And when he tries, he can guard 3 positions. I don’t see any scenario where he shouldn’t be a contributor as a rookie.

9. Stephen Curry

10. Gerald Henderson- I hate Duke and everyone associated with their basketball program, but I’m going to reluctantly admit that I think he’s a bit underrated heading into this draft. Another guy who should be able to become a legit rotation player fairly quickly.

11. Jrue Holliday

12. Demar Derozan- Like Holliday, he was far from overly impressive in a weak Pac-10 and so I can’t imagine him helping a team much next year, but by all accounts, he has the potential to become a starting caliber 2-guard at some point in the future. In a weak draft such as this one, that potential should equate to a sure lottery pick.

13. Sam Young- He is what he is. He’s old for a draft prospect, so he’s not going to get a whole lot better than he is now, but he’s big, he can shoot, and he can defend. I’m not sure he’ll ever be a starter for a good NBA team, but he can definitely be a 7th or 8th man, perhaps as early as next year.

14. Jeff Teague- He definitely could’ve used another year in college after essentially disappearing down the stretch last season. This a deep point guard class, and to me, Teague is the most unique of all of them. Even though he’s 6′2, he doesn’t really have the game of a small player. Guys like Flynn, Rubio, Curry, Lawson, Maynor, etc. all sort of look like the smoothest guy on the court. Teague’s not really like that. His game reminds me more of James Harden’s (for lack of a better comp.) than anyone in the point guard group. He’s not a smooth ballhandler, but he’s quick enough and stong enough (at least in college) to get by defenders. He’s not a dead on shooter and his form is not pretty, but it goes in often enough that you have to respect him from outside the three point line. He’s not a great passer, but he’s also relatively unselfish. I don’t see him as a star PG like some of these other guys may become, but on the right team, he could be pretty damn effective. I think if you throw him into the Lakers PG group for instance, he could be starting by the end of next season, and the great thing about Teague is he’s a good enough scorer to play the 2 occasionally. So while he’s far from the best PG in this draft, I also think he’s one of the few without a glaring weakness. Whether it’s size, shooting, ballhandling, defense, decision making, etc., he’s solid (if unspectacular) across the board.

15. Dajuan Summers- The bottom line for me is that he’s 6-9 with a jump shot. My opinion has changed on him more than anyone else in this draft since the end of the college season. Perhaps, it’s subconsciously to do with Rashard Lewis’s playoff performance (not that I think he’s ever going to be nearly as good, he’s just the closest thing in this class), but the more I see of this guy, the more he grows on me. I doubt he’ll ever be a starter, but at this point in this weak draft, a guy with one well defined skill and an NBA body is a valuable commodity.

It’s been awhile since we’ve seen or heard from Chris Russo, as he’s been spewing his nonsense in the cultural Siberia that is satellite radio. I’ve got good news though. He’s apparently a huge fan of The Parent’s Basement! This is evidenced by the fact that he’s stolen our completely original idea of creating fake tournaments and then deciding who the fake winners would be. The Mad Dog’s tournament attempts to decide who the best baseball team of all time is, and according to the site, he alone has determined which 32 teams are worthy enough to participate. I hope you’re already getting excited, because that alone is worth the price of admission. I don’t want to spoil the moment any further, so just go ahead and take a look and I’ll follow up with my thoughts: http://www.sirius.com/maddogbaseball

• Ok, just started perusing the bracket. Wow. Looks like a great tournament so far. Oh wait… now that I’ve gotten all the way to the SECOND FUCKING TEAM LISTED, I realize this is a complete joke. The 1999 Rangers? What the hell? I actually took the time to look this up. They were 95-67 with a pythagereon record of 88-74, and they got swept in the ALDS by the Yankees. Their top 3 starters were Rick Helling, Aaron Sele, and John Burkett. The’27 Yankees were probably shitting themselves when they saw this draw, huh? That’s why you put these types of tourneys together though, to think about matchups like Ruth-Helling and Burkett-Gehrig.
• In Russo’s defense, even though the site claims this is his ”definitive list of the top 32 squads”, it seems that he imposed some kind of weird unwritten rule on himself that forces him to include a team from every organization. This is an explanation at least, but of course, it is completely idiotic and defeats the entire purpose of the exercise. This isn’t like putting Christian Guzman in the All Star game, asshole. No one’s going get any kind of pleasure out of seeing an undeserving team they once rooted for listed on this shitty bracket. Do you think Rockie fans are going to like relive Rocktober ‘07 by watching their team lose a vote 95% to 5% in a meaningless fake baseball tournament?  But fuck it, let’s exlude the ’39 Yankees, so the ‘98 Padres can fnally get their shot.
• 10 (11 if you include the ‘94 Expos) of the 32 teams in this tournament did not win the World Series, so nearly a third of the field cannot even reasonably claim to the best team in their given year. And four of those teams did not even win their league championship.
• Even if you want to cut him some slack for his every team rule, remember that the Royals, Twins, and Cubs have all won championships in their history, and yet are represented by teams that did not win. And if you’re going to insist on including a Cubs team that did not win the World Series, why not include the 115-37 1906 Cubs (lost WS 4-2 to the White Sox) instead of the 94-58 ‘29 Cubs (lost WS 4-1 to A’s)? If you wanted there to be any semblance of logic or reason, that might’ve been a good move. He included the 1905 Giants, so it’s not like he’s against going back that far. There are many similarly inexplicable decisions, but I think that example does a good job of summing it all up.
• Speaking of the Giants, why are they one of only 2 organizations to get 2 teams in? I know Russo’s a Giants fan, but this is just asinine. Even if you don’t want to go with 3 Yankee teams; the Cardinals, Dodgers, Pirates, Red Sox, Reds, and A’s (probably others as well) all had second teams more deserving than the ‘54 Giants, who are pretty much never mentioned as one of the great teams of all time.
• The seeding is also incomprehensible. For instance, why would the ‘01 Mariners be an 8 seed? They went 116-46. I realize they choked in the postseason, but so did 30% of your field.

I’m going to stop there, because this has been enough of a waste of time as it is. I’ll say this though: this is the first time I really, really wish a lot of people read this blog, because skewing these polls so the ‘98 Padres or ‘07 Rockies win this thing would be the highlight of my life. I think I would be willing to give up my ability to have children to make that happen.

Unbelievably, Pirates GM Neal Huntington had to write a letter to fans explaining why he traded Nate McLouth after several members of his team threw hissyfits. I haven’t seen a bigger outcry over someone this mediocre since Bob Barker left the Price is Right. The guy just isn’t that good at baseball, and though others made the case before me, I feel it is my duty as the loan Parent’s Basement writer on American soil to set these asshole Pirates’ fans straight.

First of all, he should not be playing center field. He is,without question, a corner guy, as he was downright horrendous defensively last season (I refuse to even address the fact that he won a gold glove, because the annual announcement of the winners of that award may be the single biggest joke in all of professional sports).  In a Gold Glove reaction column last year, Rob Neyer wrote, “According to John Dewan’s Fielding Bible data, McLouth was 40 plays worse than average, dead last among major league outfielders. According to Baseball Prospectus, McLouth was 17 runs — runs, not plays — worse than an average center fielder. According to Bill James’ win shares, McLouth’s outfield defense was 46th-most-valuable in the majors.” I know many people are skeptical of these types of fielding statistics, and it’s true that they’re not perfect, but I can assure that if a guy is rated that poorly across the board, he really, really sucks defensively. There’s really no way around that. He’s a run of the mill corner outfielder who happens to be playing center, mainly because he’s shaped like a guy who should be playing center.

So now that we’ve established that it’s unfair to compare his offensive statistics with guys who actually can play a premium defensive position, he immediately becomes a much less attractive commodity. Even if we take into account his entire 2008 season, a year that started with a two month stint that he may never duplicate, his numbers aren’t exactly otherworldly. He ranked 29th among MLB outfielders with a .356 OBP, 18th with a .497 SLG%, and 22nd with a .853 OPS. His ex-teammate Xavier Nady was better in all three categories, and I don’t think anyone would confuse him for a superstar.

Still, if McLouth could be relied on to put up those numbers year in and year out then yes, he’d be a desirable asset, but it has now been a full year since his 2 month explosion in April and May of ‘08 and he’s looked much more like the average player he was expected to be coming out of the minor leagues. According to Keith Law’s calculations, he’s hit .256/.327/.447 since June 1 of last year. That’s a full season of baseball. If we take those numbers and compare them with 2008 MLB OF’s, they would have put him 44th in OBP just behind Lastings Milledge, tied for 34th in SLG% with Shane Victorino, and 38th in OPS right between Hunter Pence and Corey Hart. The guy is the epitome of an average baseball player, and in my opinion, the Pirates’ only mistake was not trading him earlier.  If his value ever gets higher than it was this past winter, you can make me watch a baseball game with Rick Reilly.

The fact is Huntington did a good job of getting a lot value for a guy who really isn’t that valuable. They got 2 of the top 10 prospects in a loaded Braves’ farm system (Hernandez and Locke are 8 and 10  respectively and B- prospects accoding to John Sickels), along with a third guy who could help them immediately. As Law puts it, “Morton could go right in their rotation, Gorkys is a ++ defender with a chance to hit (he hasn’t been good this year but he’s also 21 in AA), Locke is a high-upside LHP with three pitches who has shown good feel and command in the past. That’s a lot of talent – and difficult-to-get talent, since players up the middle and LHP are hard to acquire in trade or free agency – for a guy who is, what, an average outfielder? Fringe-average?”

I can’t summarize it any better than that. This is a classic case of an overrated ”gritty”, “gutty”, ”hustle-y”, “all heart” white guy getting overrated because he kind of looks like a regular dude, the problem with most of these guys, though, is they also kind of play like a regular dude. So, Pirates fans, listen, I know it sucks that the Somalian Pirates could’ve probably fielded a better baseball team over the last 10 years than you did, but trust me, freaking out about mediocre players being traded for multiple prospects is not helping anyone.

Just wanted to get in a couple thoughts while I’ve got a few minutes left of free internet. First of all, in Germany, the letters on the keyboard are exactly the same, except the z and the y are switched. That’s more annoying than having the dentist floss you! (for all the Reilly lovers) Thought Pat did a great job with the Reilly FJM treatment, though he also could have mentioned that not only was it a preposterously shitty article, but it was recycled. He basically wrote the exact same column for SI, as covered by Deadspin. So the guy’s essentially just a hack and I haven’t bothered to read his articles in some time, I don’t even think I’d classify him as a sports fan at this point.

Also loved the Francesa vid, classic Mike. I do wish I could hear his reaction to Pat’s point about Hughes being a starter and Joba not being one. I think our thoughts on Joba as a starter are pretty overdone at this point, but for the last time, he’s clearly more valuable when the team gets the most innings out of him.

As for the finals, I could not have been more wrong about the Magic. I thought they’d lose to the undermanned Celtics then I thought they’d get totallz smoked by the Cavs, but apparently they’re much better than I thought. Admittedly, I’ve barely seen any of the games, but I’d have to believe that the Lakers can get it done with home court and I’d pick them in six, which is worth less than a crocodile’s tooth.

And the 24 season finale was laughable.

We haven’t really spent a whole lot of time covering the playoffs but that certainly hasn’t been due to any lack of interest. At least for me, and I think Bo would agree, it just seemed that most of the matchups were so predictable that our opinions would’ve been exactly the same as everyone else’s. Of course, we, along with the vast majority of basketball fans and commentators, were proven very wrong. I was always in the Lakers over Cavs camp (mainly because of the difference between supporting casts and the fact that they just score in the halfcourt with so much less work), so I take a bit of solace in that, but I certainly never expected the Magic to get by Lebron and co. After watching them struggle with a mediocre Sixers team, and then need 7 to get past the undermanned Celtics, I thought the Cavs would put them out of their misery fairly easily. By the end of Game 1 though, it was already clear that most of us had severely overrated Cleveland. They had the luxury of playing two subpar teams in the first two rounds, and looking back, I’d say their dominance probably spoke more to the lack of quality competition than their own prowess.

All that said, I can’t take anything away from the Magic. They are one of the most entertaining basketball teams I’ve seen in a quite awhile. No matter whether they’re down 25 or up 25, the game is never out of reach. This is the boom or bust nature of their playing style, and it certainly makes for crazy ebbs and flows in just about every game they play. I see no reason why Howard shouldn’t be able to continue his rise to bona fide superstardom in this Laker series. Like everyone else, I was down on him after the Celts series, but now I’m starting to realize his lack of success in that series may speak more to just how good Kendrick Perkins has become.  I just don’t see any way Bynum/Gasol can duplicate Perkins’ superb defensive job over the course of a long series. If that’s the case and Howard does wreak havoc inside, then the Magic are going be very difficult to beat when they’re shooting the ball well. This makes it very unlikely the Lakers can get this series over with quickly.

The problem I see for Orlando, though, is they can’t afford these 15-20 minute stretches where they fall behind by 20 points or so. The Lakers are not going to go into the kind of offensive comas Cleveland went into, because they have so many different ways to beat you. As impressed as I was by the Magic in the Cavs series, Lebron was able to win 2 games essentially by himself. Kobe doesn’t have to do that. The Lakers can win without him getting 35-40 points a game. The other thing that bothers me about Orlando is Rafer Alston. I think he has a tendency to make some terrible decisions, and that could negate some of Orlando’s advantage at the PG spot. I would play Lee at the 1 with Pietrus at the 2 as much as possible (I’m not even going to try to guess what they can get out of Jameer Nelson).

The Lakers have also had their fair share of trouble in the last 2 rounds. Just like Orlando, they needed 7 games to get by Round 2 and 6 for Round 3, so I certainly think they’re beatable. They need Odom and Gasol to step up after a disappointing Finals last year, and I know that’s not a given, but they’re not playing a tough, physical, defensive-minded team like they did in 2008. There’s no reason those two guys shouldn’t be able to collectively get the job done this time around. Ariza also needs to continue his solid play, and they could really use at least one of Fisher, Farmar, and Vujacic to contribute something in this series, as those three have been awful for most of these playoffs.

So obviously, there’s plenty of reasons I think they can fail, and I think they may be pushed to the very brink in this series. At the end of the day, though, I don’t see Kobe letting them lose. I know that sounds cliche, and is exactly the same thing we heard about Lebron a few weeks ago. The difference is that Kobe has the pieces around him, and maybe more importantly, knows he’s running out of chances. I loved the way he played in those last two games against Denver, and I’d expect a similar sort of fire from him through the next 2 weeks. He’s left the impression this entire year that he’s leaving something in the tank. Unlike Lebron, he’s learned how to score without overexerting himself every possession, and so I’m expecting a similar sort of control the first few games of this series just like we saw against the Nuggets. Once we get to the last few games of what I see as a long series, that all changes. I see Orlando getting to a Game 7, but Kobe kicking it into overdrive for 48 minutes to finally knock out the Magic after their improbable run and cement himself as one of the greatest of all time. Nothing in this series, except maybe a sweep either way, would really suprise me, but my pick is Lakers in 7, and I’m looking forward to sitting back and watching how this thing plays out.

Well, the Yankees have announced that Phil Hughes is moving to the bullpen, so Wang can move back into the rotation. Does this mean he no longer counts as a starter according to the Mike Francesa Pitching Bible?

I personally expect him to pitch well in relief because he’s got great stuff, and in short relief, he can pretty much max it out in an inning or two just like we’ve seen of Joba, Price, Masterson, etc. So my question is this: If he does pitch well, does he become the new setup man of the future with Joba, of course, as the closer? They could be the new Mariano/Wetteland!! Who needs starters anyway? Just go out and sign John Lackey to a 5 year/$90 million deal come winter time. Duh.

I’m going to post some thoughts on the finals in the coming days, but today I wanted to get in a few opinions on the draft. The combine was this past week and this is where we start to get a good feel for where each player will go and how highly they are valued  by GM’s and scouts. This is the time of year where teams inexplicably fall in love with guys like Joe Alexander and Patrick O’Bryant, so I always like seeing who the new group of overhyped, overdrafted losers will be, along with their underrated counterparts. I’m going to pick a few players to discuss, and I will continue with this type of post right through draft day.

Earl Clark- I’m going to start with Clark, because Bo called him a fraud in his last post, and I couldn’t disagree more. He measured 6′10 (shoes on) with a 7′3 wingspan, which makes him taller and longer than Blake Griffin. He’s got all the athleticism in the world, which allows him to play either forward spot, creating mismatches for smaller 3’s or slower 4’s. That length and athleticism should also make him as good of a defender as he chooses to be. He’s known to be a great passer, which gives him the ability to play point forward if his team wants to use him in that way. He’s also a good rebounder, solid ball handler, and an improving shooter. If there wasn’t a knock on him in the mental aspect of the game than I really think he would be top 5 pick in this relatively weak draft. He has a tendency to lose focus and make dumb mistakes, and some also have major questions about his work ethic. I’m not saying these aren’t very scary concerns, but in this draft, his talent and potential are definitely worth taking a chance on in the latter half of the lottery. I’ve seen him compared to guys like Shawn Marion and Lamar Odom, and I’d say he’s probably somewhere in between those two. Even if he can just become a poor man’s Odom offensively and a poor man’s Marion defensively, you have a major contributor on your hands. The bottom line for me is that in a draft lacking guys with high ceilings; Clark’s body type, athleticism, and physical abilities give him almost limetless potential. I’m not saying I’d bet on him becoming an All Star, but I see no reason why he shouldn’t be a good NBA player.

Stephen Curry- I like Curry, and I think he’ll be a rotation player in the NBA, but I think some are getting a little carried away here. He measured at 6′3, which I was shocked at, and now seems like a lock to be in the top 5-8 picks. I think the assumption here is that he will be able to play point guard in the NBA, which I’m not sure I fully agree with. I still see him as more of an off guard, who can play the 1 for 10-15 minutes a night when the starter’s out of the game. He’s a good passer, but I’m not sold on his ballhandling and ability to beat guys off the dribble, at least not to the extent that would warrant him being the 2nd PG off the board. He’s just not that quick, which will also make life very difficult for him at the defensive end, especially considering his size. Don’t get me wrong, I think he’s a definite contributor to any NBA team, because of his ability to put the ball in the basket. If I needed shooting, I would take him quite early, but I’d be very careful about drafting him in the top 7 as your PG of the future.

Ricky Rubio/Blake Grffin-  As a follow up to my post a few weeks ago about these two, I wanted to address their current draft stocks. It seems that the gap between them is only widening in the eyes of most, and it is a foregone concluson that Griffin goes first, while Rubio, now, may end up outside the top 3. I was a bit surprised Griffin measured at 6′10 with shoes on, which makes him about an inch and a half taller than Beasley a year ago (though Beasley had a greater wingspan and standing reach). I still stick by my point that the two are very similar as draft prospects. Meanwhile, scouts are coming up with all sorts of questions about Rubio. All of a sudden, he may not have the size, athleticism, or shooting ability to be an above average starting PG. Well, I couldn’t disagree more. I mean I know it’s a small sampling and a different style of basketball, but if you watched him against Paul and Williams in the Olympics at the age of 17, I don’t understand how you can believe he won’t be a star in this league. He’s an uncanny playmaker, he’s a better defender than his athleticism would indicate, and I believe he will be a far better shooter than someone like Rajon Rondo or Jason Kidd (before this year at least). I still consider him the best player in the draft, and would take him #1 in a heartbeat, and the idea that any team would take Hasheem Thabeet or James Harden over him is completely baffling to me.

Jrue Holliday- Here’s one I don’t quite get. He’s flying up draft boards, even though he had a subpar season in a weak Pac-10. I know he’s big for a PG, but he’s not a great ballhandler, he’s not a great shooter, and he’s not a great athlete. He’s a completely different player than Westbrook, another UCLA guard who flew up draft boards, so comparing them is essentially worthless. I wish I had watched more of him in college now that it looks like he’ll be a top 10 pick, but I’m skeptical to say the least. I would much, much rather have Jonny Flynn, for instance.